Kids Need Structure during Stay Home

03/27/2020

Dr. Doug Miller offers useful advice while you’re sequestered at home with you kids during the pandemic. It’s all a matter of adjusting your attitude and doing something meaningful for others.

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LET'S FACE IT. THE PROSPECT OF STAYING HOME ALL DAY, DAY AFTER DAY WITH YOUR KIDS DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC MAY BE A LITTLE DAUNTING, LEAVING SOME PARENTS TO WONDER HOW THEY EVER ARE GOING TO COPE DURING THE ENDLESS DAYS AHEAD. WE HAVE SOME ADVICE TO MAKE YOUR STAY AT HOME A LITTLE EASIER FOR BOTH YOU AND YOUR KIDS. YOU'RE WATCHING THE LOCAL NEWS NETWORK, BROUGHT TO YOU BY KROEGER'S ACE HARDWARE IN DURANGO AND CHOICE BUILDERS SUPPLY IN CORTEZ. I'M WENDY GRAHAM SETTLE. WE TALKED WITH DOCTOR DOUG MILLER, A LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST AND FATHER OF FOUR, ON WAYS TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY SANE DURING THE CURRENT STAY-AT-HOME ENVIRONMENT. AND HE SAYS YOUR ATTITUDE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
YOUR PERSPECTIVE IS GOING TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE IN HOW YOU'RE GOING TO HANDLE THIS. I CAN THINK FOR MYSELF THAT I'M, NOT VERY LONG AGO, I'M RUNNING FROM TAKING MY KIDS TO PRACTICES AND, AND ACTIVITIES AND ONE AFTER ANOTHER. AND I'M THINKING THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY TO DO EVERYTHING WE HAVE TO DO, AND NOW, WE'RE SORT OF FORCED JUST TO SLOW DOWN AND HAVE SOME TIME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY AND REALLY HAVE MEALS TOGETHER, REALLY TO TAKE SOME TIME TO WORK ON SOME PROJECTS TOGETHER AROUND THE HOUSE AND HAVE A PERSPECTIVE THAT THIS ISN'T GOING TO LAST FOREVER. THIS REALLY IS A GIFT FOR US TO SLOW DOWN. ARE YOUR KIDS BICKERING WITH EACH OTHER, WHINING AND UNDERFOOT? BOREDOM MAY BE THE CULPRIT.A REALLY IMPORTANT THING IS LET'S START TO PROVIDE SOME STRUCTURE FOR OUR KIDS AND FOR OURSELVES. SO EVEN IN OUR HOUSEHOLD, WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF LACK OF STRUCTURE, BUT STARTING WHEN THE KIDS WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER SPRING BREAK, THEY'RE GETTING UP ON A SCHEDULED TIME. IT'S IMPORTANT FOR KIDS TO START THAT, NOT SLEEPING UNTIL 10 O'CLOCK, BUT THEY HAVE THE STRUCTURE OF WAKING UP AT A REGULAR TIME. THEY'RE GOING TO, THEY'RE GOING TO GET DRESSED. THAT MIGHT NOT BE NECESSARILY WHAT IN SCHOOLS, THEY ARE CLOTHES THEY'D WEAR TO SCHOOL, BUT GET OUT OF YOUR PAJAMAS, HAVE BREAKFAST AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ACTIVITY AND THAT ACTIVITY IS GOING TO INCLUDE SOME SORT OF EXERCISE AND, BUT THEN I KNOW SCHOOLS ARE STARTING TO SEND OUT HOMEWORK FOR KIDS TO DO, SO HAVE A STRUCTURED TIME IN THE MORNING FOR YOUR KIDS TO DO SOME OF THAT SCHOOLWORK AND REALLY HAVE A PLACE SET ASIDE FOR THE KIDS TO DO THAT WORK.

SO THAT COULD BE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE OR AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE BUT NOT IN THEIR BEDROOMS AND HAVE IT AT A STRUCTURED PLACE THAT THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOME SCHOOLWORK AND MAYBE DO THAT FOR 45 MINUTES TO AN HOUR AND THEN TAKE A BREAK OR ANOTHER STRUCTURED ACTIVITY THAT COULD BE JUST SOME FREE TIME. ANY MORE, YOU GOT TO GET OUTSIDE AND SO DEVELOP SOME, SOME STRUCTURE THROUGH THAT DAY. AND I THINK KIDS ARE GOING TO FEEL A LOT BETTER ABOUT THAT IF THEY HAVE SOME OWNERSHIP IN THE PROCESS. SO PARENTS ASK YOUR CHILD, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE PART OF OUR SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS A GOOD THING FOR US TO DO IN THE MORNING AND THEN IN THE AFTERNOON? AND THERE ARE SOME PARAMETERS THAT YOU MIGHT WANT FOR YOUR CHILD TO MAKE SURE THEY'VE GOT TIME TO DO SCHOOLWORK, HAVE TIME TO DO EXERCISE, THEY HAVE TIME TO JUST HAVE SOME DOWNTIME FOR THEMSELVES. WHERE DO THEY WANT TO DO THAT AND WHEN DO THEY WANT TO DO THAT? IF YOU'RE TELECOMMUTING WHILE FOLLOWING THE STAY-AT-HOME ADVISORY, KEEPING YOUR KIDS OCCUPIED CAN BE EXTRA CHALLENGING.  DR. DOUG SUGGESTS DEVELOPING AN ONLINE CHILD-CARE EXCHANGE WITH OTHER PARENTS.
WE COULD SET UP A PLACE WHERE MAYBE YOU HAVE ARRANGEMENTS WITH THE PARENT OF MAYBE YOUR CHILD'S FRIENDS AND YOU ASK THAT PARENT NOW IS GOING TO CREATE SOME FUN VIDEO INTERACTIVE LESSON FOR YOUR KIDS TO PARTICIPATE IN ON FACETIME OR THROUGH ON SORT OF ZOOM, SIMILAR TO WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE, AND SO EACH PARENT CAN TAKE A ROLE IN DOING SOME SORT OF TEACHING, SOME SORT OF ACTIVITY, SOME SOMETHING THAT THE KIDS COULD BE ENGAGED IN, THERE IN, IN THE HOUSE THROUGH SOME TECHNOLOGY. I'VE READ A FEW STORIES OF WHERE PARENTS HAVE DONE THAT, WHERE A MOTHER WAS, LOVED TO DO YOGA AND DO YOGA WITH KIDS. SO SHE WAS ACTUALLY DOING YOGA IN HER HOME THROUGH FACETIME AND THE OTHER MOM WAS ALLOWING HER KIDS TO DO THAT WITH THIS OTHER MOM AND THIS, THIS OTHER MOM COULD STEP AWAY TO DO SOME WORK. SO GETTING CREATIVE IN THOSE WAYS COULD BE REALLY HELPFUL. AND FINALLY, FOR BOTH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND THE EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING OF YOUR CHILDREN, DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR OTHERS.
THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE ALL COULD DO TO HELP OUT. AND THAT'S FOR US AS PARENTS, MAN, IT'S ALSO REALLY IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW FOR OUR KIDS. ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES, IT COMES FROM VIKTOR FRANKL. VIKTOR FRANKL IS SOMEONE YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO LIVED THROUGH THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN WORLD WAR II. AND HE HAS THIS QUOTE, HE SAYS THAT THAT LIFE IS NEVER MADE UNBEARABLE BY CIRCUMSTANCES. IT'S MADE UNBEARABLE ONLY IN A LIFE THAT HAS NO MEANING OR PURPOSE. SO RIGHT NOW THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE PRETTY ROUGH, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE LIFE UNBEARABLE. WHAT DOES MAKE IT UNBEARABLE IS IF WE LOSE THE MEANING AND PURPOSE OF OUR LIVES, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US CAN FIND THAT MEANING AND PURPOSE IN OUR LIVES, RIGHT? WE CAN DO THAT AS PARENTS IN THE LIVES OF OUR KIDS, WE CAN FIND A MEANING AND PURPOSE FOR OUR KIDS TO DO SOMETHING, TO PERHAPS HELP A NEIGHBOR. WE ALL CAN FIND MEANING AND PURPOSE IN OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW TO CONTRIBUTE TO MAKE THIS WHOLE SITUATION BETTER. SO OUR CIRCUMSTANCE MAY NOT BE IDEAL, BUT REMEMBER, THERE'S MEANING AND PURPOSE FOR THIS, FOR ALL. WE HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOME MEANING AND SOMETHING MEANINGFUL DURING THESE CHALLENGING TIMES. BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.  BE SURE TO LOG INTO OUR WEB SITE FOR MORE STORIES ABOUT YOUR COMMUNITY. I'M WENDY GRAHAM SETTLE FOR THE LOCAL NEWS NETWORK.

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